MurluneHow to write a letter to someone who died
By the Murlune team · Updated October 30, 2026
When someone dies, the conversation stops, but the things you want to tell them don't. A letter is one way to keep talking: to say what you didn't get to say, to tell them what has happened since, or simply to write their name.
There is no right way to do this. Here are some gentle ways to begin, prompts if the page stays blank, and ideas for what to do with the letter afterwards.
Before you begin
Choose a time when you will not be disturbed, and let yourself stop whenever you need to. You can write a little and come back another day.
Some people like to have something of theirs nearby: a photo, a song, a message they once sent. Others prefer a quiet, empty room. Do whatever feels kind to you.
Ways to begin
The first line is often the hardest. Any of these can open the letter:
- Write their name, the way you used to say it
- Tell them what today was like
- Tell them something that has happened since they died
- Tell them what you remember most clearly
- Ask them the question you still carry
Prompts if the page stays blank
Start with one and keep going for as long as you like:
- “I wish I had told you…”
- “Since you’ve been gone…”
- “I’m sorry that…”
- “Thank you for…”
- “I still hear you say…”
- “I want you to know that I…”
There is no wrong feeling
Grief can hold love, anger, guilt and relief all at once. You might be angry that they left, or relieved that their suffering ended, and still miss them terribly. A letter has room for all of it.
You do not have to finish. Some letters are one line long. Some are written over many nights.
Afterwards
You might keep the letter with their things, read it aloud somewhere that mattered to them, or let it burn. On Murlune you can burn it on screen, and it never leaves your device.
Some people write again on birthdays or anniversaries, a small ritual of staying in touch.
When grief feels too heavy
Grief has no timetable. But if, months later, you can barely get through the day, or you feel completely alone with it, a grief counsellor, a support group or your doctor can help.
If you are thinking about ending your life, please contact a free helpline near you now, at any hour.